To My Wonderful Wife

Happy Birthday Ness!!!

For those unaware, Ness had a birthday recently. Now I don't wish to go against her wishes and reveal the magic number (which most of you know anyway). I will simply state that the following blog reveals the party we had the day BEFORE her birthday celebrating her last day of being 28.

Jennessa has never been a big fan of cake, so Ava suggested cupcakes because that is what SHE wanted. And as much as I tried to tell Ava that this party was all about mom, Ava kept insisting. Considering Ness' lack of desire about cake, I relented. After all, Ava loves to bake!

One thing Ness does love more than cake (or pretty much anything) is reading. The above book is actually a collectible, but I have a feeling it will not remain in pristine condition. Nor would we want it to be ... books are for reading! (It's "Lord of the Rings" in case you were wondering.)

This is Jennessa's actual present. More specifically, she gets to go to this English family's home and buy something. This family is quite a treat! Their entire house (about the size of the Bennett's home from P&P) is full of beautiful antiques. Some are for sale and some are not - you just have to spot a pricetag. It can be upsetting because you'll see this old stool that looks incredibly neat (and you know that some child was given a "timeout" on it 300 years ago) and it's not for sale. Anyway, Ness saw this corner cabinet and had to have it. It dates from the 1700's and is 100% original parts. Even the locking mechanism was forged by a blacksmith! Now this is my idea of what antiques should look like (see "You Are So Beautiful To Me").

And then Ness gives it style!

Beautifully engraved and original 1700's glass!

In addition, we are leaving for 3 days in Rome tomorrow! That is truly her birthday gift. The antiques she calls "investments".

So ... happy birthday to the most wonderful person I know. Thoughtful, caring, beautiful, intelligent, and most importantly, still YOUNG. Happy Birthday Ness! We love you.

Those words will come back to haunt you...

Oh a day in the life of a two year old little boy! You haven't lived until you have witnessed an angelic little boy spend several minutes carefully building the perfect tower of blocks...and then pedaling to the other side of the house on his little radio flyer trike only to whip around and come flying full speed into his tower, scattering blocks to the four corners of the living room. You haven't lived until you have heard the maniacal laughter from both children after the block smashing. This went on for a solid hour...and that was fine!
How could I not get such a kick out of watching this little guy having so much fun?
He can't quite reach the pedals, so he does sort of a Fred Flinstone on a trike thing. He gets around pretty quickly though!
At 430 (when the sun set), Ava was enthralled with the beautiful "pink clouds". Speaking of Ava... A few minutes ago I went up to give Eli some much needed discipline. He got a little pop on the bottom and a scolding for being out of bed and sassing mama. Ava, who was watching, said, "Mama! Pretty girls act pretty!" I don't think I could count the number of times that same sentiment has come out of my mouth while I watched Ava twirling around in one of her "prettiest dresses" while extolling her own virtues and berating her brother all in the same breath. It was all I could do to keep a straight face while agreeing with Ava that, yes, pretty girls act pretty, but mamas have to discipline sometimes too. I don't think she really understood what I was talking about. That's okay...I mean...she thinks I'm pretty...wow!

To the mothers of "under fives"

This one goes out to all of the mamas who have children under 5. Let me see an imaginary show of hands...Who has been describing/lamenting their day, when an older, "more experienced" parent has jumped in and "wisely" said, "Just wait 'till their teenagers!"?? Has anyone else had the urge to say one of the following things...
"Oh! Gee! It looks like you haven't been to the salon in what? Three months? At least you had a shower today!" or
"Gosh it must be hard having children that can wipe their own butts! How useless you must feel!" or
"Is that a smutty Nora Roberts you're reading or "The potty book for girls/boys" ?(for the 7th time today...)"
Don't get me wrong...I treasure the moments, but today was not one that will go into my long term memory I don't think...

3pm- My kids and my borrowed Logan have had enough of the great backyard (after about 6 and a half minutes!) so we decide to go for a walk. Ava rides her scooter, Eli is being pushed on his trike by Logan.
3:01- Eli- "I need to poop" Me- "again!?"
3:06-Attempting walk again...Ava- "I need to poop" Me- "of course you do" Eli-"No Yogan, my trikikle! (pushes Logan into the weeds- Sorry Kate) me- "timeoutgopoopnowLoganyou're okay!"
3:20 (Yes Ava likes to take her time) we are now on our third attempt at a walk and have made it all the way around the corner. Me- "Logan! Don't eat that! (again...sorry Kate) Eli! stop whining!" Ava has now found the only mud puddle in the street and promptly gotten her scooter stuck in it. Eli is now mysteriously holding a stick and coming at Logan who has started to drip snot like a faucet. I had no Kleenex and have chosen to omit how I actually got the snot off of his face. I am by this point carrying both boys and dragging the trike with my right leg. Ava is clinging to my other leg and begging me to carry her muddy scooter home.
3:25 The kids (still wearing outdoor coats/hats/etc.) are lined up on the couch watching Wonder Pets. I love Wonder Pets.
So...to the younger generation, my siblings, anyone that will have "under 5s" in about 10-15 years, I do solemnly swear that I will not pretend like your life will be harder when your little handfuls become teenagers...because it will be a LIE! I will instead smile in my beautifully made up face, shake back my recently highlighted hair (in this fantasy I also have a tan in case anyone is interested) and say, "Enjoy the good times, it will get easier as they get older!" And in my heart of hearts, a little part of me will probably wish that Ava would quit texting her boyfriend and go with me on a scooter ride...

I dare anyone to find a scarier gang of riders this side of the, um, Atlantic

A couple more Germany pics

My lovely day has been filled with vomiting children (they are much better now) and the military bureaucracy...not sure which is worse! So understand that if I even attempted to make witty comments about any of these Germany pictures, they would probably come off sarcastic and off-color...so I won't!
It was a 30 minute walk up hill to the castle...carrying children! The fried doughnuts on the way down were the yummiest food ever!!!!
Neushwinestine castle...yes I have no idea how to spell it!
The resort at Edelweiss
Mimi teaches Eli how to make a snowball...later Papaw taught him how to make yellow snow. Thanks papaw.
BTW- the pictures on the last entry should be fixed!

What my kids did in the Alps...

I am back from my pseudo deployment to Texas! Between two kids with stomach flu, a ward full of babies and pregnant ladies, and a husband who runs circles to keep us all sane...life has been a little chaotic! My "time budget" is very limited tonight...but in case there is still a reader or two out there who hasn't given up on the continuing vacation saga, here is a little more (than you probably wanted to see!)
If you read the "condermans viva nutso" very often then you know that my two-year-old has recently potty trained. Two year olds have small bladders, and rest stops are not so plentiful in Europe. Soooo, Eli "peed da grass", "peed da road", "peed da twash can" and peed about every other thing on the road between here and Bavaria. I can't complain though. 8 days in the car and 0 accidents. I am still waiting to find a little puddle next to my kitchen twash can....

Papaw's girl!


As many know, I love to ski! Eric does not. So, I was super excited to take Ava on her first trip to the slopes. Ava...well...I think she will be good at it...someday...maybe.... She is pretty young after all! We taught Ava to stoop forward and hold her hands out like she is praying to keep her balance. The picture above is Ava "praying" straight for a tree. That is me flying mach 5 to try to get her in time. "Turn Ava, Turn!"

She didn't turn. I was laughing so hard I could hardly fish her out from under that pine tree! As long as I live, I will never forget Ava doing that perfect swan dive and then disappearing into the pine tree! Perhaps she will be a swimmer like Daddy...

So Did You Really Expect Anything Else?

Welcome all. Eric here.

So ... here I am in a unique position. Ness has left town for the week, and I have to admit that the best day without Ness does not compare with the worst day with Ness. In other words, I miss having her around. But as many close friends and family know - I am a BIG fan of Confucious. One of my favorite phrases of his that I love to quote and live by (and a lot of the world would be much better off learning and living it) is "If there are no solutions then there are no problems". Think about it.

And (Sports-wise) it needs to be said that it has been difficult getting my children to be NY fans. If you looked into our closets, you would truly believe that we were only from IN and that we went to Purdue U. (It's odd that almost all of our sweatshirts are from PU even though I went to VT and Ball State and Ness went to IUPUI. This is because of "UCLE MICLE" and that is OK. But it needs being stated nonetheless.)

So...I have to admit that this is a WONDERFUL weekend to not have her around. It is the BEST weekend in the whole year of football, and to make it even better, the COLTS and the GIANTS and both involved. Thanks to AFN, I actually have the opportunity to watch 12 hours of football today. But despite my desire to watch 12 hours of football today (which I will not) and my desire to have a beer with breakfast (which I did not), I am still going to spoil my children with 6 hours of milk/juice/potato chip filled bliss until they fall asleep watching the INDY and then the NY game. Seriously, for a father attempting to get his children into the football spirit, this is a better day than any non-religious holiday! And we are living it up to the n-th degree. And by the way, for those completely disinterested in this blog- Ness arrived safely in the US. She will return safely next week. Until that happens, GO GIANTS and GO COLTS.
And also I should let you know that as soon as we Ness returns and we get some pictures from Mimi's camera you will all experience a wonderful part3 to the European Vacation, because it was THAT FUN!

Bye all.

Road Trip to Good Times...Part 2

Yes, I know I promised yesterday...so to the three of you that read this...sorry! Anyway, on the Cologne. During the month of December, this is the home of one of the greatest Christmas markets in Germany. Any other month, it is home to the most amazing cathedral I have ever seen. The town itself does not really hold a candle to Brugge, but we only had one day here anyway, and that was enough to see the cathedral. After referencing my handy dandy "1000 places to see before you die", we learned that the important way to experience Cologne is to climb the 542 steps to the top of the cathedral and look out on the city and the Rhine river. So we did...even Ava. When we got to the top, she rightfully named the cathedral the "Church of a 1000 steps"! We did have some sore legs the next day, but the view was incredible. Even me with my horrible phobia of heights, managed to sneak a few looks. When you get up about 400 or so of the steps, there is a round room to rest in/let the kids run around. While I was watching the kids (and praying that the kids wouldn't find a way to fall to their death) Eric kept climbing and my parents (who thought Eric was helping me) trekked up the wrong way to the top. I waited awhile until I realized that no one was coming back to help me. I summoned every bit of courage, tucked Eli under one arm and began the climb with Ava to the very top. Twice I had to stop and let Ava prod and encourage me to the top. "Don't worry Mommy- I won't let you fall. We will be okay." And so we were!
Pretty girls in front of a pretty cathedral
Ava having a little rest half way up the church of 1000 stairs
Proof that Mommy overcame her "episode" and made it to the top!
Daddy and his girl
After we climbed back down, we were completely tired and ready for a cup of chocolate, some strudel and a nap in the car on the way to Rothenburg.
Rothenburg is your quintessential beautiful town. My "1000 places to see before you die" describes it as a German Christmas village in love with it's own image...and so it is. Rightfully so. At night the village is by far the most lovely I have ever seen. Each building is lit up with Christmas lights. At 8pm every night, the night watchman appears out of nowhere to take the tourists on a tour of the town. The place is over 1000 years old so it is very medieval and rich in history. The hotel we stayed at was built in the 12th century. I swear I could hear ghosts at night...but they were probably just shopping for nutcrackers at Kathe Wolfhert or visiting the Medieval crime and torture museum. That's what we did too!
Ava helps the night watchman with his lantern.
A view from outside the gate. The entire city is on a hill and surrounded by a wall. We found the entrance to the ramparts on the wall, so we took a nighttime stroll around the city. Mommy was scared...of course.
Here is Ava being "punished" outside the museum. She looks really remorseful, doesn't she? They actually had a real iron maiden, a disturbing collection of chastity belts, and shoes with bells that "bad kids" had to wear around when they were cheeky. We keep threatening our kids with those...
Here is the family after our nighttime surveillance of the city. I would visit Rothenburg again tomorrow if I could!
So, tomorrow morning I have to fly to Texas for a week of field training- so it will probably be next weekend before I get the "Ava takes on a pine tree while skiing in Edelweiss" blog up. Believe me, you don't want to miss that one! Cheers!

Road Trip to Good Times...Part 1

Nothing cures that after Christmas let-down like a road trip to Germany! We had just way too much fun to cram into one blog entry...so I had to break it down into three parts! I should start by mentioning how thankful I am that our "new arrival" came just in time. She weighed in at 2 tons or so and is "three Ava's long". Her name is Sassa and we love her. "Sassa" is our new XC90 Volvo SUV that seats 7. So you can imagine the less than kind things I had to say about Volvo when it was 48 hours before we needed to leave for our vacation and my car was still not in my possession. (A car is rather necessary for a road trip after all!)
So- we got the car and off we drove at 0'dark thirty on New Years Eve morning. We almost crossed the channel on the ferry without incident. Almost. The water got a little choppy towards the end of the ride and Eli's eye met the mean end of a table...instant shiner. Between that and the copious amounts of snot my children were able to produce and display, we weren't exactly winning any 2007 Parent of the Year awards. Anyway, Eli handled the whole thing with surprisingly few tears. He informed us that "I tough!" and ran off to play some more. I have a unique talent for booking the most obscure and difficult to find hotels, but fortunately there was a local out riding his bike that was willing to guide us to our hotel in Brugge. How's that for hospitality!?
Now my pictures are in no particular order... but are still far more interesting than my rambling I am sure....so....
There was an ice skating rink set up in the town square of Brugge and so Ava and I rented some skates and took off. Eric didn't want to miss the fun so he quickly joined us. Eric is good at three times as many things as most people are. Skating is not one of them. By the time we were done he had improved significantly, until he tried to show off a spin, crashed into the wall (nearly knocking it down!), and nearly broke his neck. After he left the rink, he had a drink with my dad. Karyn and I noticed that there was actually steam pouring off of him! Who knew that ice skating was such a workout?
Me and my honey:)
Downtown Brugge
My parents were very kind to keep both kids that night so that Eric and I could go out for New Years Eve...for the first time in 5 years! There was a "sing along" that started at 2330. We were in the front row singing along to the Dutch, German, French and even a few American songs. We may have been singing, "I am a magic baboon" for all I know, but it was so much fun! I cracked me up that everyone knew every word to "YMCA" and "Paradise by the Dashboard light"...and even sang it with an American accent! We even got up on stage to sing a few of them!
We got a huge kick out of the man in the back. He was doing a rather exuberant dance to "Final Countdown".
I warned that these were out of order...but here is "Weewhy's Owee" (according to him!)
The kids in Brugge
Mimi and Papaw in one of the town squares. Behind them is the Basilica of Holy Blood.
Here we all are, sugared up on Belgium chocolate...yummy!
The ice skating "misadventures".

I am dog tired so this concludes part one. Tune in tomorrow to see the cathedral that Ava has rightfully named the church of 1000 stairs and beautiful Rothenburg!