52 years young?!!???

Here are my two beautiful, smart, wonderful, creative, cheeky children. Recently I went through an old photo album and saw a very similar picture of myself cheesing for the camera with my little sister and brother when we were little kids. If you have been reading my blog, then you know that my sister recently graduated with honours from Officer Training and she is a brand new second Lt. (I'm not incredibly proud or anything...really...) and my brother is being offered everything but a sports car to come work for some of the top companies in the US. I drive a car that smells funny and I haven't graduated at the top of anything...but I don't do too bad living in England and all. I'm not trying to brag about my whole family...just my dad. Don't get my wrong, I had three amazing parents, which I fully believe is what it took for my siblings and I to self-actualize so well. But today is my dad's birthday...so I have to brag on him a little. Believe me, he deserves it. I was definatly not an easy kid to raise. Honestly, I was such a mouthy little smart alec that I would have made a saint swear! My Dad and I certainly did knock heads alot, but he never gave up on the notion that I would eventually turn from a rotten teenager into a real human being. One time I came home late from my friend's house, and my Dad did what most good parents would do and grounded me from my car. Being the "rotten teenager" that I was, I smarted off and then got into my car and drove to my mom's house. My Dad promptly got into his car, followed me to my mother's house, dismantled my car, and informed me that he would put it back together in a week...when I was no longer grounded. I think I learned a bigger lesson in respect there than any other event in my childhood. My Dad, who wasn't always so strict, also took me out of school for one day every year on my birthday, so that he and I could go snow skiing. I learned how to ride my bike, change a tyre, respect myself, and cherish my marraige from my Dad. So, today, Kings to you Dad. Happy Birthday!
Here are my Dad and I before I left for Jr Prom. This was 12 and half years ago...wow...
Here is my Dad at London's Hard Rock Cafe. This was only a few months ago. I think you still look pretty cool Dad!

Off to London

First of all... thanks for the captions to the Eli picture- I laughed and laughed and am still trying to decide on a winner. My Ava story for the day.... Ava was feeding a baby doll a bottle. My friend Kate asked if she was drinking cow's milk. Without missing a beat, Ava said, "Nope! It's Mouse Milk!" Yum.
On Wednesday, Eric and I were both off, so we decided to go to London on a "trial run" to find my GRE test site. I thought I would be a "good mommy" and let my kids read books on the way to the train station rather than rely on the DVD player. Here is Eli, about halfway through the trip, listening to Daddy's IPOD. So much for my good intentions...
It took about 60 seconds to find my test site, so we headed to the Cheshire Cheese, our favourite London pub. Ava took this pic of course!
After lunch, my shopping trip idea got vetoed, so we headed to the science museum....score...
We watched a 3D dinosaur movie at the imax. Ava is so funny, at scary parts during the movie, she covers her ears but keeps her eyes wide open!
Eli was transfixed by the movie, but he didn't go in too much for the 3D part. Amazingly we made it through the trip without any MAJOR meltdowns, injuries (other than when Ava and I tripped over each others feet and both landed on the sidewalk...we are dainty girls I tell ya!), and we still were all speaking to each other when we arrived home that night! Wonders never cease!

Bits and pieces

First of all... I propose a contest! The person who leaves me a comment with the best caption to this picture will be sent a box of Ely's finest Bavarian chocolate....
Here's mine: "The enemies will never see this coming (maniacal laughter)..."

Anyway- I also need to give a shout out to my sister who is now a 2nd Lt on her way to Charleston (her first station). I couldn't be more proud of that girl, especially since she was in charge of all graduation activities and served as one of the highest ranking people in her entire flight. I always knew I would see big things from that kid...Kings to you Carissa...
As for Eric- work is back in full swing for him...at least on my days off, which seem to be fewer and farther between. If you know any nurses that need a job- send them my way PUH HEASE!
The kids are also great, they are both growing like weeds; a few people have actually commented that my son is tall for his age...my kid...really! Ava continues to wow us with her amazing understanding of the world around her and her growing "grown-up" vocabulary. Speaking of vocabulary...Eric quizzes me daily on vocabulary words for the GRE and we have learned that I have about a ninth graders vocabulary, which at least surpasses my sixth grade spelling skills...I really wish I was kidding about this....

Kate's Baby Shower

We had Kate's baby shower last night, so as promised, here are some highlights...
Yesterday was also Logan's first birthday. He celebrated by playing with tissue paper and savagely ripping into a few gift bags. Notice what a nice little shelf his baby sister makes...
Here is my rather disgusting attempt at a party game...I melted a different candy bar in each diaper and people had to guess which candy bar was in each. 4 people actually guessed all of them-these girls are serious about their chocolate!
Here is Kate holding up a beautiful handmade quilt and booties. By the way...you guys back home really came through! Kate had about a million presents to open, and I don't know if that baby girl is ever going to need to wear the same outfit twice!
Logan is now "helping" Mommy with a few of her presents. He is about a minute away from walking by himself-such a big boy!
More cute pink things...if this baby comes out a boy, he is going to be very, uh, pretty...
Kate cuts the cake. She isn't actually crying in this picture, she just got "attacked" by a mango..
Again, thanks to everyone back home for participating in our "long distance baby shower" and thanks to Kate's "England family" too!

Such polite little stinkers!

From an early age, we have been careful to teach our kids the "niceties" such as please, thank you, excuse me, etc. I think Eli has taken being polite to an all new level. For one thing, he feels that the length and volume of the "Peeeeeeeaaaaasssseeee" is directly proportional to the likely hood of obtaining the desired object. The pleases don't stop with just desired objects...everything is _____, please???!! Powder in diaper Mama...PUH HEASE! No nigh nigh Mama, Puh Hease?? His thank yous are equally cute...I can always be rewarded for: getting him dressed, picking him up, handing him anything or even just snapping his car seat with a "TANK TOO!" from my little man. He excuses everyone (even people on TV) when they sneeze or cough. I would like to think that my "Mr Manners" will be around for ever... but I am sure that he will drift away to make room for "Mr What did that kid just say?!" as he approaches the darker teenage years. Ava is already giving us glimpses of the more grown up sauciness (eye rolling, tongue sticking out, turning and shaking her bum like the elephants on DUMBO do). I spend a lot of time laughing behind my hand while trying to look stern. For now, I will enjoy every unsolicited Puh Hease and Tank Too that I am given...they will be my reservoir when only traces of my sweet dutchy little man exist on my big grown up Eli's face.

Sweet little goofballs

As I was getting the kids ready for "gympops" (gym tots) today, I walked by the bathroom and heard Ava yelling , "Blastoff!" inside....I didn't ask. Later I observed Eli go into the "Lavender Loo", sit on his little potty seat, make a horrible noise, and then shout "Bass off". Again, I didn't ask... While Ava is at school, Eli likes to sneak upstairs and play with her dollhouse. I watched him carefully put the Mommy and Daddy to bed, then pick up the Mommy, place the coveted purple pillow on the bed and replace her with a "nigh nigh Mama". Such a Mommy's boy...I love it!
Here are my children painting with water. The page actually turns color as you put water on it...I didn't think they even made these anymore. Eli still managed to get water on every conceivable surface in the dinning room, including the walls. Did I mention that I also so love my washable paint....I am such a dork....

Hello. My name is Eli and I am an Elmoholic. Hello Eli.

Mommy Math

There is a new play park on base. Our kids love it because there are so many new things to climb and dangle from- we love it because the ground (which looks like asphalt, but is really a squishy rubbery material) still has a lot of bounce to it. This means that WHEN Eli swan dives off the curly slide, his chances of needing stitches will be decreased by a good 50%. Speaking of math- I have been studying for my GREs. I am thinking of writing to the "test maker people" and suggesting some new questions for the math section. Forget "two trains leave the station at the same time traveling in opposite directions with the radius of Detroit being the square root of blah blah blah. How about this...Two small children run out the back door of the house at breakneck speed, one has a limp but is wearing a cape, the other is bigger and faster but is wearing her Mommy's shoes. Who will arrive at the trampoline first? The truly brilliant mind knows that child B will pick up a plastic golf club, whack child A in the backside with it and subsequently wind up in time out, giving child A ample time to reach the destination first; however child A will become very interested in a piece of cookie that he dropped on the ground yesterday, so child B will sneak out of time out and arrive at the trampoline first. Or how many Kilojoules of energy does a 3 and half year old need to burn before she will fall asleep? Well... I think I've beat that topic to death- so back to the pictures of the kids at the park...
We like to borrow this one (because two is never enough). Believe it or not, Logan doesn't walk but can climb the slide in the blink of an eye- pray for his parents...please.
Ava enjoys "helping" Eli climb to the top...we are working on this...

Don't be fooled...

She is actually taller than she was yesterday...

She is a little too good at this...some of the other moms were actually getting nervous

It's okay Kate...25 pound 11 month olds can be really scary

Therapy bills

Today Eric and I met with our financial advisor to tweak, if you will, our investments. The good news is: our kids have college funds... the bad news is: at the rate we are going we will be able to pay for about one semester, a text book, and a new pair of shoes for each kid...stupid inflation! Eric and I aren't really banking on social security when we are old(er), and the military pension may or may not happen- so we have to have something saved for retirement. Subtract the quaint cabin in Michigan, Ava's wedding fund, and the emergency "Eli took apart the toilet" stash, and we have very little left for the therapy fund. Today Eli has decided that a pair of old pantyhose is a far more entertaining toy that little cars or soccer balls. Yesterday he donned Mommy's BDU cap and lovely "mommy purse" to go "Bye bye a wok" (bye bye to work)- poor kid. Ava loves to make up stories about a philanthropic T-Rex named "Guinness" who saves little girls from bad dinosaurs. If we are busy- she tells the stories to Eli, her dolls, the furniture...whoever will listen. She prefers to listen to Elton John or Weird Al Yankovic rather than "normal" kid music. Both kids like to eat cereal off the floor, and peanut butter is like top shelf caviar in our house. Please, someone...tell me this is normal...(otherwise the IRAs are going to have to share a lot more nicely with the "therapy fund")

The Purple John

This weekend we visited the dinosaurs at dinosaur park, made it through the "Co-misery" at lunchtime on a Sunday (non military families do not understand the chaos that is a commissary on a Sunday afternoon, you should get a deployment ribbon for even attempting it), and I painted the bathroom. The house is a wreck, my husband is on crutches (Ava stepped on his foot-she weighs 30 pounds- I don't understand either...), and my sanity is CTD (circling the drain). What can I do but blog?

Chairs are a privilege, not a right.

Here Ava has put together a 50 piece puzzle with only a small amount of help from me- it is amazing how long she will sit and do puzzles...I so love it.
Here is my downstairs bathroom. It is a lovely shade of muted lavender and I can now wash all of the interesting...um...presents that my kids leave me off of the walls. You need two food flinging, smashed cookie welding, covered in "washable" crayola children to truly get this excited about paint...and here I am...

Our Day in Pictures

Just a cross slice of a day in the Conderman household...

Ava can put together her 24 piece puzzle in under 10 minutes. We bought her a new one and I think she figured it out in 8 minutes, without seeing what the picture was. I know I was impressed...
Ava got up early with Daddy this morning to help him change the tire on Little Blue Car. For some reason the whole neighborhood turned out to watch...not really sure why. Maybe there is just nothing else to do on a Saturday morning. I also am not sure why I keep popping the tires on the cars. Ava asked, "Why do you keep breaking the cars mommy- that is just so sad." Thank you Ava.
After a 3 hour stint at the Dinosaur Park, Eli received a golf lesson from his Daddy. Eli lasted about 90 seconds before spotting a plane and forgetting about golf.

Ignore the "I need a nap/I just ate something that tastes bad/my sister made a mean face at me/I am two" face and notice the adorable dinosaur T-shirt. I get so many people that ask me where I ordered it. My sister Emily actually made it- she may want to think about starting a cute kid T-shirt business...
Here we are at the end of the day. Ava is officially the "last kid standing". The kids had an excellent babysitter tonight while Mommy and Daddy breathed a few breaths of pizza infested sanity. We came home an hour early because we missed them...what can I say? The little stinkers kinda get under our skin...

School, blessed school!

Tuesday was the first day of school- Ava begged to leave for school every ten minutes for about 4 solid hours. Here we are finally ready to leave! Eric is very glad to be starting back to work...I think if the kids push him any closer the the cliffs of insanity, he may willingly jump...
Speaking of Eric, he has a new golf buddy: Kenny T. Kate told me that after they played golf together a few days ago, she caught them standing over the kitchen table eating wings from the same plate...
Eli's foot continues to improve, as does his love of reading. The current favorite book is "Everybody Poops". This is a lovely book (voice dripping with sarcasm), that we read several times a day. Ava and I snicker as Eli gleefully shouts, "Yook Mommy! Poot, big Poot! Eh fant Poot!"
We have started putting the kids to bed at 815 and allowing them to "wind down" on their own before falling asleep. Right now I am listening to what sounds like a 40 person marching band with poor rhythm and a pet elephant coming from their bedroom. Somehow that reassures me far more than silence. I'm told that someday I will miss the pitter patter of little feet. I guess I will have to take that one on good faith...never mind that my little owners to those little feet have never "pitter pattered". For now, it is getting too quite upstairs and I think I just heard the words "throw" and "window" in the same sentence- better go!

Selective Hearing Starts Young

We have never been more aware of what we say than now. Ava is like a little parrot that collects emphatic words and phrases that we say and regurgitates them at oppurtune times. Today Katie and I went to Homebase (British for Lowes). As we walked past a bathroom display, I watched my little "mini me" brush her hand lovingly over a toilet and mumer, "Gorgeous, just gorgeous". Yesterday she got into trouble for smacking Eli's behind. When asked why she did that, she replied in a very matter of fact manner, "He was being a little stinker, so he needed a paddle." Ava also likes to shout out "Dog-gone-it!" (or some very interesting variation) when she is frustrated. Eli has also been a bit of a cheeky monkey with his choice of words... If I don't answer by the second "Mommmmmmmy", I hear Neeeeeessss, Neeeeessssss! He even sounds just like Eric when he says it! His favorite "swear" is "Awwww Mannnnn" (think Dora).
Yesterday I let the kids watch Peter Pan for the first time. Afterwards I gave them a very long talk about how they can't really fly by shaking salt on their heads and thinking happy thoughts. I'm not really trying to ruin the childish magic of Disney, I simply have a certain brother that failed to fly when he jumped off the balcony (multiple times) after watching Wendy, John, and Michael do it so effortlessly. I can't remember if that was the third or the forth time he had his head stitched up...

Why I need Tupperware

Yesterday I got to enjoy an evening with the girls at a Tupperware party. I never really thought of myself as the type of person to get excited about plastic boxes... Now that I apparently have a pack of wild wolves that "go hunting" in my cereal cabinet, perhaps I should invest in some of these plastic containers. Which ones keep out the ravenous 2 year olds?